Why Am I Always Trying To Lose Weight?
Posted by: salena / Category: Fat Loss Battles, Why Are You Overweight?Why am I always trying to lose weight?
Why do you want to lose weight?
I think that if we’re all brutally honest, unless there is some medical condition, about which I’ve got no place commenting, there is only one reason that you, me or the person sat beside you at ‘Fat-Fighters’ is fat. That, my friends’, is simply because we eat too much. That means, to get slightly more technical, that we consume more energy than we use up in the daily doings of our lives.
You see, in the olden days, before cars, phones, computers, washing machines, combine harvesters, drive through fast fooderies, desk bound jobs and sugar, chocolate, alcohol and lard all being available to us on tap, we had to get off our botties and toil the soil for what we put in our mouths. In the olden days, the number of people who needed to lose weight was nothing by today’s standards!
That is no longer the case. We don’t have to take the washing down to the river and bang it on a rock. We don’t have to walk 10 miles to fill the kettle or grind up grains of wheat to make enough flour to feed our 16 children. We simply open the freezer, find something that was ‘buy one get one free’ at the supermarket last week, so we might as well cook them both; and chuck it in the microwave. Oh, and don’t forget the ice cream; it’s always on offer somewhere if you know where to look! It’s no wonder we are so overweight.
So the simple answer as to why we’re always trying to lose weight is that we don’t want to be this way. Our logical brains are screaming at us to close the lid on our flip top heads when the cake trolley is rattling past when it’s the MD’s birthday, but we can’t-just a small one then, because it would be rude not to join in. Ok then, so we can all be hogs at the trough together! Yay!
In the environment that we live in, that is pretty much a toxic one, where we are surrounded by too much food and not enough opportunity to use up the energy it provides, it seems that not only do we gain some sense of social belonging from taking advantage of any opportunity to have a good nosh-up, we also crave the social aspect of all having a problem, sharing it, and then trying to lose weight together.
Of course, we’re not all like that. Some people would rather gouge out their eyes with a spoon than sit in a semi circle discussing 101 things to do with a diet yogurt, but people are generally a fairly sociable crowd and take comfort from doing things together.
When I wanted to lose weight, I was always an all or nothing kinda gal. I’ve always been a bit of an obsessive character, so I was always 100% on it or 100% off it. Trouble is, I didn’t get to be the size I was by being on the wagon as often as I was off, so the pounds just went on, then I’d lose some, then put on even more. The battle to lose weight was something that was always a part of my life. I joined all the clubs, bought all the books, tried all the pills, lotions and potions and filled up the shed with a wonderful collection of gym equipment, (after all, we only need so many places to dry wet coats, so out to the shed they went!)
I always knew that the fat me wasn’t the real me. Some people seem to be ok with being overweight and that’s fine. I’m not one of those people like the reformed smokers, you know, now that I’ve managed to lose weight, I have to go round making others feel bad because they’re not trying to. I just always knew that one day, I would come across the thing that would work. The time would be right and I could be the real me.
Sometimes, I think that partly why I was always trying to lose weight was that it gave me a purpose. I was a stay at home mum, and I could blame it all on eating the children’s leftovers, or not having the time to look after myself, or depression and boredom; and to a certain extent all those things are true. What I really lacked was a direction just for me. I didn’t want to not be a wife and mum, but I had nothing that was just mine, so I guess I took on the constant battle of trying to lose weight, and who knows, maybe by never letting myself succeed, it meant I would always have something to work at; and let me tell you, I worked at it!
When I reached 23st 7lb, I felt dreadful and trying to lose weight was the last thing on my mind, despite the fact that it should have been the one thing I couldn’t afford not to do. Every waking minute was obsessed with either what I could eat next and when I wasn’t eating I was just concentrating on getting through the day with enough energy to be able to haul myself up the stairs to fall into bed, exhausted.
That was the time when I hit rock bottom. I felt so awful that I was so fat, but just as bad for not being able to lose weight when it was supposed to be the thing that would make it all better. I can now see that I really needed to feel so crap that I had nowhere else to go but to find the solution that was right for me.
The things that were going on in my head were all just so mixed up and dis-ordered. That’s not unique to me. I’ve talked to a lot of people about weight issues, and it seems that we’re all a little mixed up in the brain department!
When I was trying to lose weight, I did need support, but I didn’t need the pressure of going to a weekly group. I always joined them, to get the books and try to gain the focus I needed to hit the ground running. I always knew that after the first couple of weeks when that initial drop of half a stone had passed, and the loses would reduce to a more normal rate, I would get fed up and pig out on something or other. I would then not be able to go to the class and promise myself that I’d lose a bit more and then go back. I just never did. One bad day would lead to two, then three and then oh well, I’ll start again on Monday. You know what I’m saying!
Even now, when from the outside it may appear to others that I’ve won the battle to lose weight, it is something that I live with everyday. Food will always be an issue to me. Unlike people that give up smoking, or drinking or playing too much bingo by never going near a pub, or bingo hall or buying cigarettes; a person can’t just say, right, that’s it, I’m not going to buy food anymore! It’s a tricky one alright, and as long as there is nice food on the shelves in the shops, the battle to lose weight will continue…
Tags: lose weight, try to lose weight, trying to lose weight, weight loss, weightloss
